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Being a mom is hard. Like, really hard. Your husband just doesn’t understand, your mom has the luxury of distance and menopause to guarantee that no matter what she does, there are no more tiny helpless humans in her future. The only ones who really get it are other moms.
I am incredibly blessed with a group of girlfriends who are my “ride or dies” since middle school. Literally, we bound together at age 13, hideous frizzy hair, colorful braces and Five Star binders included, and now the last of us is having her first baby in just a few weeks. I’ll always have these girls – and their babes – but becoming a mom really caused me to surprise myself. I made new mom friends (but kept the old!) outside my core circle. Here are the 6 kinds of mom friends every mom needs:
The One Whose Kids Are The Same Age as Yours
It’s just easy when your kids are the same age – bonus if they’re the same sex, your husbands get along and you live on the same street – oh wait, that’s the unicorn of mom friendship. But really, it’s so reassuring when someone knows just what you’re going through – potty regressions and teething and preschool admissions – because their kids are the exact same age and stage as yours. Plus they generally play pretty well together if they’re the same age. As you have more kids, finding this “same-age” lineup becomes more difficult but not impossible.
The One Who Knew You Before You Were a Mom
This girls stood by you before a tiny human owned your heart. She’s seen you wild, young, free. You were kids together, denying the possibility of the responsible humans you’ve become. She loved you then, she loves you now. Even if you have to leave happy hour early to tuck in a baby.
The Brand New One
This is your mom-to-be or brand new momma. It’s always nice to be *asked* for advice from a girlfriend who’s new at the whole ‘momming thing. She’s a newbie, has tons of questions and is just starting out her life and role as a momma. Give this one a big hug and ALWAYS text her back when she asks a question about something basic or big. After all, you’ve been there.
The OG
This mom is cool, calm, collected. She’s been there, done that, has the trophy AND the scar to show. She’s a symbol of hope that “this too shall pass” and has the advice and wisdom to get you through the toughest times. Trust her, follow her, know that if she can do it, you can do it.
The Total Opposite
It’s always a good thing to branch out and be friends with someone who isn’t your typical pal. Whether she’s super crunchy or a badass working CEO momma (or both!), if she has a totally different parenting philosophy, you have something to learn. And that’s not a bad thing.
The Perfect One
This gal has a perfect bod, she never deals with tantrums and she has no idea what you’re talking about when you say you found a moldy graham cracker under your sofa this morning, *someone* peed on the floor and your hair hasn’t been washed in a week. Cut her some slack – she’s not a mom yet š
More about motherhood right over here…
Cindy Hunt says
Hi Val! My name is Cindy and I just discovered your blog today while I was searching for paint colors for a farmhouse bathroom on Pinterest. Out of all of those pics, yours stood out to me and after reading some of your blog, I know why. You and I are alike in a lot of ways.
I am a 38 year old mother of three, Madison is 16 (OMG I can’t believe I am old enough to have a 16 year old) Luke is 13, and Gabrielle is 9. I am married to my high school sweetheart, coming up on 21 years together with 17 of them married. Motherhood is the best experience a person could have and honestly, my 16 year old is my best friend. We always say, “Your my person”. (We used to be Grey’s Anatomy freaks) She is definitely “My Person”.
I couldn’t help but laugh as I read some of your articles. My daughter gets a “rats nest” in her hair every night too. I honestly thought I was the only one who called it that. LOL I recently discovered the chalkboard contact paper and was so excited. I couldn’t wait to get home and label something. Is that sad? Heck yeah it is! LOL I am easily entertained!
There were a few more things that are similar to the things I do and say as a mother that I have never heard another mom say. I like your blog because you write about more relatable topics that reference regular moms….like us!!! I also have NEVER written to a blogger or commented on their page, but I feel comfortable talking to you, even though I don’t know you, I kinda feel like I do.
The only thing different is that you are lucky to have true friends. I have none! Honestly, every friend, or the ones I thought were friends, done horrible things to break my heart. I have kinda distanced myself from everyone and I cannot trust anyone now. I keep telling myself as long as I have my kids and my hubby, who is my best friend anyways, then I don’t need girlfriends. Do you think this is true? Thanks for the chat! I guess I just needed someone to talk to who might understand.