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The school year recently started here in St. Louis and I mentioned a few times on Instagram that we decided NOT to send Cooper to kindergarten this year, despite the fact that he *technically* could have started based on his birthday. We’re redshirting in kindergarten… and I want to explain why because a lot of you are debating doing the same!
As a v. important note before we get started – I am not an educator, child development specialist, counselor, social worker or pediatrician. I’m just a regular mom trying to do what’s best for her fam :).
What is redshirting?
The term for ‘holding kids back’ – which I’m using to describe not starting him in kindergarten versus describing having him repeat a grade – is redshirting. Redshirting in kindergarten means delaying the start of a child’s academic career to give them more time to mature. It’s a pretty hot debate and I’ve discussed the pros and cons with many of my mom friends.
Here in Missouri, the cutoff for school is August 1st. My son’s birthday is within a week of the cutoff and would make him one of the absolute youngest kids in his grade if he were to start when he was eligible to start.
But, honestly, there was never any doubt in our minds about NOT starting him in school as a just-turned-5-year-old. We’ve pretty much known from the day of his birth that we would hold on him starting school to make him ‘older’ for his grade.
Why would you redshirt for kindergarten?
One of the books that Chris and I read, pre-kids, was Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell. One of the theories he presented in that book is “in competitive situations, a person who’s relatively older than the others will probably be the one who wins.”
His evidence in the book for that theory outlines Canadian hockey players and how the cutoff there is January 1 and presents a stat that of the Canadian hockey players that reach pro-level hockey, a much higher percentage of them are born in the first quarter of the year. Basically, being older gives a physical advantage.
It made sense to us, so we tried to time our first pregnancy so that our child would be among the oldest in its class. Type-A much?! It worked and Quinn – our oldest daughter – was born in September, making her nearly 6 when starting school in late August and among the older kids in her grade.
Then Cooper was born in July… timing was a little off ;). And we’ve known pretty much from day one that we’d hold him for a ‘victory lap’ of preschool, to give him more time to mature emotionally and socially.
Why We Decided to Redshirt in Kindergarten
Of course, every child and situation is different, but here are the factors we considered – not in order of importance – when deciding to give Coop another year of preschool:
Emotional Maturity
Honestly, Cooper is a very typical boy (not to stereotype or generalize) – he’s less emotionally intelligent than some girls his age or older boys. An extra year of developing some emotional regulation will 100% help him to better succeed in a classroom.
Academic Maturity
Another honest answer here… if I felt like Cooper would be bored by starting kindergarten as a just-turned-6-year-old, I would’ve started him at 5. But I don’t think he’s so far advanced, academically, that he won’t be properly engaged at school.
Social Maturity
Does Coop have lots of friends? Yes. Can he improve the way he interacts with friends, practice more patience, and work on how he expresses frustration? Hell yes. So that’s what he’ll do in his last year of preschool.
Physical Size
Coop – like all of our kids – is on the small end of the charts physically, so we figured it wouldn’t hurt to give him an extra year of physical growth.
Other Resources If You’re Considering Redshirting
Pros & Cons // Does Redshirting Benefit Kids? // Ready or Not?
I’ve had a couple of people ask how I knew it was the right decision, and, truthfully, we never struggled with it and had the full support of his teachers, pediatrician, and Chris and I were on the same page about it.
SOOO that’s why Cooper is doing his victory lap in preschool! I’m confident in our decision but totally understand that it can be a hard choice based on birthdays or behavior or boy vs girl.
Sending them on-time or not, we’re all just doing the best we can do!
Kim says
I totally agree with redshirting. Especially with boys. I did not redshirt but wish I would’ve. My two boys are older (sophomore at Mizzou and senior in high school) and have birthdays in late Spring. They are both amongst the youngest in their class. They both have done fine but I think an extra year would’ve made them even more successful academically and in athletics. There’s no shame in doing the best thing for your kids as you know them best!
Val says
Thanks for the insight! And Go Tigers! Mizzou alum here 🙂
A says
As a former teacher, I love all of what you have thought through. I especially think “redshirting” is a good idea for boys. My own son was born a week after the cutoff, and I can’t say I’m disappointed. You go mama for making a great decision and not just putting him in KG because you can 🙂
Val says
Thanks! It’s always good to have an educator’s opinion 🙂 – good timing on your son, too!
Jenny D says
I’ve always said we’re sending Ev next year, but now I’m reconsidering. A teacher this weekend told me that her husband is a middle school administrator and he kept stats one year, and 85% (!!!) of his disciplinary referrals were boys with late summer birthdays, young for their grade. I have no way to verify that, but she didn’t seem like she had any reason to make it up.
Val says
WOW! That’s wild but I believe it. I don’t think we’ll regret holding Coop 😉
Yuvs says
Wow I never thought of this. My oldest has a birthday 1-2 weeks before school starts so of course she is one of the youngest in her class. I’ve always been so hard on her and this just makes me feel so bad! To make things worse (maybe) this is her last year in Elementary and we have so many after school activities that I am wondering if I am adding to much on her plate. But we are redshirting our four year old and skipping Pre-K. It’s not too bad for her since she is an April baby.
Kelly says
My son’s birthday is in late September so fortunately the choice was made for us, but as another September birthday who did start school early (even as a girl) I think I might’ve been better off being older for my grade rather than younger, just because it’s hard being the youngest and I could’ve started college at 18 instead of 17, which might’ve been a better call. There’s just no need to make kids grow up faster!
Stacy says
Great post, super helpful resource and such a hot topic that I know many of my friends have grappled with! I think the “categories” of consideration are particularly helpful lens to thinking through a big decision like this!
Christina Green says
My son is 5 with a May birthday. We decided to not redshirt pretty much for the same reasons you decided to. He was in with my sister for daycare and we started talking about do we redshirt or not, a lot of things happened and he started pre-k in January. Once he was in that setting, he became a completely different kid. He was like 4+ inches taller than every kid in there. Then we had a conference in February and I just flat out asked the teacher was he ready or do we redshirt. She was like he’s 100% ready. He needs work in this this and this but you’d do a disservice to him keeping him back. that being said, he starts kindergarten Sept 3 and I’m having depression. Like how TF did he get so big!
Heather says
We live in Georgia and here the cutoff is Sept. 1. My son’s birthday is early Aug, and we’re definitely considering doing this next year (he just turned 4). My husband is hesitant because our son is very big for his age, he’s off the chart for height especially…but I keep telling him that that’s the least important factor. I also think so much is expected in kindergarten now…my daughter was in K last year and she had to sit still and focus almost all day. That’s so hard when they are on the younger side. Hope your son enjoys his victory lap!! I have never heard anyone say they regretted doing it!
Jordan says
We are doing the same! My sons birthday is July 30th but he will be repeating preschool this year, a ton of moms I know with kids the same age are all putting the kiddos in K4 but I just knew it wasn’t time for my LO yet. A part of me was embarrassed and wondered if I even wanted to tell anyone out front. This article makes me feel more confident in our choice!