I don’t often use this blog as a spot to pour my heart out but I’ve had these thoughts swirling in my head for the last week and wanted to share, in case one of you are feeling the same about sending your baby to kindergarten – emotions of a first time kindergarten mom <3:
these friendship bracelets are my most favorite thing ever – idea c/o Kristin @ GrowingUpGill – love her Insta too 🙂 – I wear one and Quinn wears one and if she’s having a rough spot during the day, she can look at it and know I’m thinking of her <3 – after her first day she told me she looked at her bracelet a couple times when she was feeling sad (HEART MELTING)
For the past 5 years, I’ve smiled at the flood of back to school pics on Facebook and Instagram while avoiding even thinking about how those moms must have felt… And now that I’m here, posting the back to school pics, I’m a mix of sad (that the baby/toddler/preschool phase is over), so proud (that she’s ready, capable, and confident), nostalgic (how did my tiny baby turn into this actual CHILD?!), and just heart-bursting excitement and anticipation and gratitude for the start of Quinn’s next phase of life.
I’m a first timer, sending my oldest gal off to elementary school for the first time. And I’m honestly kind of surprised that I’m feeling so emotional about it. After all, Quinn is 100% ready socially, emotionally, academically. She’ll be among the oldest kids in her grade, turning 6 in a few short weeks.
She has no hesitations, no nerves to speak of – just excitement, a little apprehension but a general willingness to embrace this new season of life.
I, on the other hand, am struck with the ‘what ifs’ and the ‘how did we get heres’. I feel like the past 5.75 years have flashed before my eyes and the tiny baby I *just* brought home from the hospital has suddenly become this little girl who’s ready to navigate her own world. Which is, of course, exactly what happened.
It’s just symbolic, a new phase of life where time no longer moves as a normal pace but at lightning speed where your kids just multiply in size, the days are cut in half, and the years fly by. Time is a thief.
Kindergarten is the start of something big – an actual academic career, marked by disappointments, successes, friendships, failures, the unknown.
They say that when you have a baby, your heart just walks around outside your body. And that’s 100% true – this change just feels like my heart is walking further away than ever, with less ability to protect it.
I’m lucky enough to have some momma friends who have BEEN THERE and done this before me. Who have been kind enough to share their experiences and feelings about how sending their babies to kindergarten felt. Moms who have texted me, checked in, let me know they’re thinking of me, or Quinn, and who have shared their words of wisdom.
I remember being so overwhelmed with love and gratitude when Quinn was born – we had a constant stream of visitors and friends and family reaching out to see if we needed and I will never forget crying in her nursery because I was so grateful for all the love. And today I feel the same way – I think the overwhelming emotion I feel – more than sadness or excitement or nervousness – is gratitude.
Thankful for so many people love our sweet girl and our family and every text, message, phone call, Facetime and Starbucks gift card sent is just such a blessing and I am so thankful.
So, hugs, to the momma whose feeling such a mix of emotions as life moves to a new phase. I see you, I feel you, and I am virtual cheers-ing you to a great school year.
If you have a mom friend who has a child going to school for the first time this week, reach out to her. Send her a text, give her a call, like her post on social media, send her a gift card, let her know you’re thinking about her <3.