This post may contain affiliate links, which means I receive a commission if you choose to purchase through links I provide (at no extra cost to you). As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
I’m sharing #NESCAFE in my life as part of a NESCAFE sponsored series for Socialstars™.
You might not know this, but it’s been a little over a year since I quit working in an office to become a stay-at-home mom. It’s been the hardest job I’ve ever had and I really struggled with the adjustment. But a year later, I finally feel like I’m actually rocking my role as a SAHM. Let me explain…
Tips For Being The Best Stay-At-Home Mom
When my oldest was born, I went back to work full time when she was 10 weeks old… and loved it. I loved my co-workers, the sense of accomplishment that came with working in an office, the freedom of only being responsible for myself for 8 hours a day, coming home to see my sweet baby at the end of the day. Did I miss her when I was at work? Of course. But I truly loved working and felt like being a working mom was what I wanted for myself and our family.
A little less than two years later, my second baby was born. And I looked at my brand new baby boy and my almost-two-year-old daughter and couldn’t figure out how it was possible how quickly time had passed from newborn to toddler. And I suddenly felt like I had missed a lot. So much so that when I went back to work when he was 10 weeks old, not a month passed before I wrote up a proposal and tearfully submitted it to my boss to drop down to part-time, working three days a week. The worst they could say was no, right? I didn’t want to quit working to stay at home permanently or completely, part-timeime was a perfect solution at the time. To my surprise (and delight) my office accepted my part-time proposal and I felt like I had the best of both worlds, enjoying my time in the office and staying at home.
Working part-time was perfect – until it wasn’t. My role changed a bit, leadership shifted, and I was no longer feeling fulfilled working outside the home. So I made the decision to quit. Again, uncertainty; again, tears; again, a shift in my identity.
And truthfully, the transition wasn’t great. Suddenly, I had no measure of whether or not I was doing a good job and I felt guilty for not loving and appreciating every moment – or even some of the moments. I was very fortunate to be able to stay-at-home but I was really quickly losing myself. Over the past year, I’ve found some things that have given me some perspective and the ability to really embrace my role as a stay-at-home momma. Here are some tips on becoming a happy stay-at-home mom:
1. Know Your Role
Have a serious discussion with your partner about both of your expectations. Do it at a time when you’re both level-headed and ready to have a productive discussion. Be clear about your expectations. What are both of your must-haves? Top priorities? Do you expect to take care of kids first, or is having a clean house a priority? Do you have a side business or charity work that needs to be worked in? Will you run errands like grocery shopping on the weekends or during the week? Splurge on a cleaning lady? There are tons of questions that need to be answered and it’s best to have a plan before you start.
2. Slow Down
The shift from working to staying at home is like pulling the e-brake on efficiency. In the working world, being efficient and completing tasks quickly is essential and rewarded. When you are a SAHM, that’s all out the door. Nothing is done fast with a 4-year-old and 2-year-old on the loose. Everything is new to kids; they’re learning all the time. So you literally have to stop and smell the roses… often. It can be really hard to slow your roll enough to be awesome in mom-mode.
3. Social Media Isn’t Real
This may be the most important thing of all. DO NOT compare yourself to another mom based on what you see on social media. It’s a highlight reel; no one is posting about how they just lost their mind on their toddler for asking for a granola bar for the 93rd time that day. They aren’t sharing the pics of themselves with 4th day unwashed hair. A picture on social media is one second of one minute of one person’s day – don’t let yourself believe that is their reality all the time.
4. Find Your Style
I don’t mean clothing… You’ve got to figure out what stay-at-home mom “style” work for you. Are you a schedule person? Do you want to knock out laundry on Mondays or do it all week? Some people like to get up before their kids so they can get a fresh start on the day. I’m not one of those people ;). There are a million ways to stay-at-home mom so try a bunch of things and stick with what makes you least crazy.
5. Lower Your Expectations
And then lower them again. I’m not saying drop your standards, but be realistic about the hours in the day and the balance of housework vs play and parenting you can (and want) to do. I would much rather take my kids to the park than sit at home and do laundry; in 30 years, they’ll remember that time together. Ultimately, I care more about creating happy memories for them than having a clean house. It’s impossible to look hot, have happy kids all day long, live in a spotless house, have a homemade dinner on the table at 6pm, maintain an active social life and have a great marriage all at the same time. It’s going to ebb and flow and it’s ok to not have it all. No one does.
6. Treat Yo’Self
This was by far the easiest one for me. You can’t pour a glass of water when your cup is empty = you can’t be a good mom if you have nothing left to give. So you MUST take care of yourself and find ways to treat yourself. One of my (not-so) guilty pleasures was getting myself a coffee at Starbs or Dunkin’ daily. But holy expensive… it had to stop. When NESCAFÉ® asked if I wanted to try their NESCAFÉ® Dolce Gusto® machine, I was all over it. It’s like a Keurig but so much better… you can make single cups of regular coffee but also lattes, cappuccinos, espressos, hot chocolate and iced coffee with the same coffee machine. So I kind of have my own little coffee shop in the kitchen, which makes it way easier to get up and moving with 3 little ones in the AM. We all know it’s way easier to mom when there’s caffeine involved! Use code ValLuckyLife for 40% off your NESCAFÉ Dolce Gusto machine (ends 6/14/17).