January 2022 Q&A

1 // Did you have SPD with all your kids? I have severe SPD right now with #3. It’s so rough. I want 4 kids but I don’t know if I could do severe SPD again // SPD rec’s? It’s sometime hard to walk…

If you have Symphysis Pubis Dysfunction, definitely ask your OB about a referral to a Pelvic Floor Physical Therapist and/or a Chiropractor who works with pregnant patients. I personally went the PT route because my insurance covered it but did not cover chiropractic work.

Auggie was (thankfully!) my first and only pregnancy with SPD; it was VERY challenging for our entire family but it is temporary. Ultimately it’s a hard choice and I feel for you <3.

2 // Your biggest takeaway from couples counseling? Considering it…

GIVE IT A TRY! There haven’t been any magic bullet ‘aha’ moments or phrases in counseling that have made our marriage easy, but the reflection and alternative ways to communicate or view a perspective are invaluable.

Everything in life takes maintenance; your body, your mind, your home, your car, your friendships – there’s absolutely NO shame in working to maintain your marriage. It shows maturity, commitment, and respect for your partner and your relationship.

3 // Are you still following no TV in the mornings? I want to do it, but scared to miss my lazy AM

We stick to no TV in the mornings on school days and some weekend mornings; I felt the SAME WAY – TV was the only way I’d ever get to sleep in. It definitely depends on the ages of your kids, but my older kids are more than capable at ages 9, 7 and 4 to play independently without an adult directly supervising. It REALLY HAS made a difference in my kids’ behavior & it makes the mornings SO much smoother.

Give it a try – you might love it, might hate it, and no shame in doing what works for your family in this season of life.

4 // Advice on teaching young kids how to be nice to puppies and dogs?

We just practice and reward ‘gentle’ touch, try to teach them to stay away from dogs while they’re eating/drinking, and to approach ‘strange’ dogs on the street (on a leash, any dog that isn’t ours) that you always have to ASK before petting a dog, always let them sniff your hand first, etc. The Instagram account Dog Meets Baby is an amazing resource as well!

5 // How often are you BFing auggie? What about when you travel w/o him? pump/bottle?

I still nurse Auggie in the AM when he wakes up, before his nap, and before bed. I don’t do anything special when I travel – haven’t pumped while away from him since he was about a year old but I’m also not super prone to clogs. Honestly, it’s pretty ‘low maintenance’ for us right now which is one of the main reasons I haven’t pushed weaning just yet. He turns 2 this week though so maybe after that?!

6 // What would teenage Val think about your life right now?

She wouldn’t believe it… honestly, I never had a very clear picture of what my life would look like, nor did I have any concrete plans to make certain things happen. Looking back, it was a LOT of luck and good timing to lead me to this point. I’m very thankful because there were many times things could’ve been so different.

7 // What are your mom triggers? (Those last straws that make you lose your shit on everyone)

Being interrupted – whether I’m trying to do ‘one more thing’ for work or trying to have a conversation with Chris, my brain doesn’t switch very easily (or peacefully). I’ve come to realize I actually suck at multitasking and it doesn’t serve me or the people around me well. I also VERY MUCH value time alone and have purposefully carved out 2 full days each week to work/work out/whatever I need to do and when that schedule is interrupted (most often due to illness or childcare changes), I have to carve out just a little bit of time alone so I don’t go insane. Alsooooo when my kids use certain voices that they know drive me nutso.

8 // Your banana bread recipe with pineapple please

Linked here! It was my Grandma’s recipe and it’s really the best. // banana bread recipe

9 // Do you get recognized all the time like a celebrity? I would HAVE to say hi if I saw you!

HA! Please do say hi if you see me! I don’t get recognized all the time but it definitely happens. I know it FEELS weird to say hi but I promise, it’s not weird for me!

10 // Did you figure out what happened to your delivery driver snack box?

NO! I’m assuming teens snagged it. But I wish they would’ve left the basket itself. I put a new one out weeks ago and so far, so good!

11 // Still planning to hire someone? Can’t wait to hear about it!

I AM! But everything I want to do takes me approximately 57 times longer than it should. Trust me, I’ll share when the details are ironed out!

12 // Favorite chip flavor?

This is HARD! I love a classic Dorito, anything Sour Cream & Onion, a Kettle cooked Salt & Vinegar, and Cheddar & Sour Cream. But my *favorite* chip is actually… Fritos. So weird, I know.

13 // Do you talk about Bruno?

We talk about Bruno every damn day, multiple times a day. It’s Auggie’s favorite movie and the other kids tolerate it, so that’s a win.

14 // Convertible car seat link?

We’ve had this seat for about a year for Auggie and I wholeheartedly recommend – zero complaints. It rotates so you can easily get baby (or squirming, back-arched toddler) in and out. // convertible car seat

15 // Do you ever lookup answers in the crossword?

Very rarely – I can do the Monday puzzles myself and almost never have to look up the mini answers but I don’t think there’s any shame in Googling… it’s a great way to learn clues & the possible answers.

16 // Hair removal? Electrolysis or laser?

I’ve done laser (at Infinity Laser Hair Removal in Clayton, for those of you who are local!) and LOVED the results. It’s probably been about 8 years since my last treatment but all the areas I had done are still much finer/thinner than before. As someone with dark hair & light skin, I was an ideal candidate – definitely worth looking into! I liked that I was able to pay as I went because everyone needs a different number of treatments.

17 // What would be your death row last meal?

OMG impossible to answer… a bite of about 10,000 foods! White chicken nachos from Tony’s on Main Street. My Grandma’s deviled eggs & pork tenderloin sandwich. Imos pepperoni pizza. Toasted ravioli from Farottos. A really good sushi roll.

18 // What vehicles have you had with multiple car seats? A love for 3?

I used to drive a ’15 Chevy Tahoe (which is what Chris drives now). Would NOT recommend – basically zero trunk space and rides like a truck. I got a ’19 or ’20 Ford Expedition Max LTD before I had Auggie and I still love it so much – good trunk space, smooth ride, all the bells & whistles. Both vehicles have captains chairs & a bench in the back, which works well for our fam.

19 // What’s the first thing you do when you wake up?

Not the healthiest answer but… check my phone 😬😬😬

20 // How many years did it take you to have 4 kids? Want 4 but it feels like it will take so long

Our first was born in 2012 (pregnant at the end of 2011) and the last was born in 2020, so it was a solid 8 years of on-and-off pregnancy.

Quinn – 2012. 22 months later… Cooper – 2014. 32 months later… Emmy 2017. 33 months later… Auggie 2020. The gaps between babies got wider with each child. I did have a miscarriage between Coop & Emmy and Coop & that baby would’ve been about 26 months apart.

21 // Are you an StL native? What high school did you go to?

Not born but definitely raised & St. Louis is home – I’ve been here for almost 35 years. I went to Marquette – go Mustangs, ha.

22 // Top baby names that Chris vetoed?

Hard to remember now but I also loved but didn’t choose:

• Graham
• Colin
• Connor
• Campbell
• Delaney
• Harper
• James
• Finn
• Avery
• Hazel
• Hudson
• Owen
• Isla
• Kennedy
• Piper
• Rowan
• Declan
• Weston
• Easton
• Silas
• Dylan
• Anderson
• Nolan

23 // How long have you been donating blood (outside of pregnancy/bf?)

I really didn’t get consistent with it until the pandemic started! I began donating in 2020 and haven’t stopped. In that time, I’ve known 2 people who have required multiple blood transfusions to save their lives and it makes me really grateful knowing that I can do something to help people.

24 // Any potty training tips?!

Definitely NOT a pro on this but 3 of my 4 kids are potty trained 💁‍♀️ so there’s that! I did write this post with my tips when I potty trained Emmy – need to re-read for Auggie within the next year! // potty training tips

25 // How do you build a real village as a mom of young kids? So hard to meet other cool moms…

It takes a WHILE – don’t get discouraged. The older your kids get and the more activities they’re involved in, the more families you’ll meet and the more often you’ll cross paths. Take the initiative – don’t be afraid to ask a mom for her number and text her for a playdate. Give a compliment – ‘cute bag! does it fit a sippy cup?’ or offer some solidarity – ‘mine refuses to do XYZ too! this age is wild’. Be yourself – you *will* find your people.

I met many of my ‘newer’ mom friends from multiple seasons of sports (we didn’t walk out of 1 season of pre-k soccer BFFs) and from many years of saying ‘hi’ and running into people at birthday parties, school events, etc. Covid has made it hard to feel connected to school + meet other parents but there are still opportunities if you go for it :).

Honestly, it’s like dating and you have to shoot your shot – the worst someone will say is ‘no thanks’ and if they do, their loss!

26 // What are your fav tops to wear when breastfeeding?

Anything easy to pull down or up! I wore a variation of this top ALL THE TIME. For dresses or rompers, anything stretchy enough to pull down was game-on. I cared less and less about people seeing the top of my chest as my ‘nursing career’ went on.

27 // How do you find a good therapist? How do you find the TIME for therapy?

Answering this under a ‘couples counseling’ lens but I think it could apply to individual counseling as well!

Ask around; many of our couple friends also see the same couples counselor, ha! If someone isn’t a good fit, MOVE ON to the next – don’t waste your precious time and money if you don’t vibe with someone. I’m not saying abandon counseling if it doesn’t work out with someone, just stick with it to find someone who IS a good fit.

Many websites have options to sort by things like man/woman, areas of specialization, etc which can help you find someone you might like. Start by Googling ‘counselor who specializes in XYZ near me’.

As far as finding time… Chris and I go about once every 3 weeks; we go on a day he works from home and 3 of the 4 kids are already in school. I usually have my mom come sit with Auggie so Chris and I can sneak away for 90 minutes. It’s definitely a commitment but a worthwhile one if you can swing it. If you can’t get childcare, many counselors will see you virtually which isn’t quite the same but better than nothing!

28 // Are the old IG stories on the blog broken? Looking for where you hosted sis baby shower!

I stopped doing them and no one missed them, ha! We had her baby shower at Pop Champagne Bar in St. Louis – it says it’s closed currently but only to the public (they’re still holding private parties) // Pop Champagne Bar

29 // How did Chris propose?

In a parking lot, ha! It was a few days before Valentine’s Day and he took me ice skating at Forest Park. He had plans to propose on the ice but chickened out ‘there were too many people around’ so he did it in the parking lot after instead.

I was completely and totally shocked – it happened WAY sooner than I thought it would based on our conversations.

30 // Daycare/preschool: Y/N? When to start? Pros/cons?

We started each child in preschool when they turned 3, mainly because that’s the age our preschool begins + we were fortunate enough to have family as childcare in those first few years. As someone who grew up in a household where both parents worked outside the home, I have very fond memories of being at daycare growing up and I love the socialization aspect that preschool provides.

Pros – socialization for kids, ‘free’ time for parent(s) // Cons – cost.

All in all, I think when it comes to childcare, every family is different and what feels right will be different – whether it’s a year-round daycare, a school-year preschool, in-home, or even swapping hours with a group of moms… whatever and wherever feels like ‘home’ (safe, secure, loving) is what’s best for your family!

31 // The excel sheet with the grades and age! I’ve tried searching on your page

It’s on my to-do list to create a page with all the printables & sheets like this but in the meantime… here’s the ages/grade Google sheet template!

32 // How many sq ft is your house and did you add any when you reno’d?

2800 and we didn’t add a foot! The cost of an addition was greater than renovating in our existing footprint and if I had to do it over again and budget was no object, I likely would’ve pushed for an addition. Our house and the layout works for us now as a family of 6, 4 of whom are still small children, but when those children are teens things will get a little tight.

33 // Should I move from a job I like (not love) to be near both sets of my kids’ grandparents?

So many factors – are the grandparents awesome? Aka that perfect mix of respecting boundaries but also willing to help? I’m only half kidding. Both sets of our parents are in town and it is the ONLY way we have 4 kids and stay (arguably) sane. I have mad respect for people raising children away from family.

But yes, if you only *like* your job and don’t *LOVE* it, I’d say move on & hopefully you’ll find something you DO love closer to the people you love.

34 // Favorite places in STL to eat on a girls night!

Love this – can I come?! Faves for friend dinners include:

• Olive & Oak
• Layla
• The Tavern
• Billy G’s
• Edgewild

35 // I know Aug was your worst sleeper. When did he STTN? Dying over here

Ahhh sometime after 6 months! My other 3 started sleeping through the night at 6 months and I know he was after that. Things were HORRIBLE with him around months 3-5 but he did grow out of it and is actually a decent sleeper now at almost 2. I know it completely blows and feels like you won’t make it through when they’re not sleeping :/.

36 // Hockey mom tips?! My 4yo started lessons

So far we’re not super competitive so just bundle up & have fun! Honestly, Chris handles most of the hockey life… the gear, the EARLY practices, the getting dressed/undressed – I just show up for games that aren’t at the ass crack of dawn.

37 // Love how close you are with your sister! I’m hoping my kids will be the same way – any advice?

We were NOT close growing up… we’re 2.5 years apart (I’m older, can you tell?!) but over the years we have become much closer, mostly due to me growing up and not being a total jerk anymore. Check out this post by my friend Susie (the famous @busytoddler) has some advice on this!

Really, I think it boils down to talking about your children (siblings) like they’re friends, like they’re a team. I tell my kids that we’re all a team and we work together, we lift each other up, we look out for each other, and at the end of the day, family will be with you.

38 // What to do/where to go in 30A area!

Annnnd I’m coming up on a year of promising this blog post :/.

We went to 30A for Spring Break 2021 and LOVED it, so much so that we’re going back this Spring Break! We stayed in Santa Rosa Beach last year and this year we’ve rented a house in Watercolor, which is basically at the other side of 30A.

I do have a 30A Instagram highlight from last year – linked here – that I’ll reference to write the blog post.

39 // Do you start with the same word each day in Wordle??

I don’t! I usually use whatever pops into my head but I like words with a lot of vowels – adieu, learn, route, mouse.

40 // Do you worry promoting toxic consumption of things?

As I’m getting older, I’m gaining the ability to keep my eyes and mind on my life, my family, my business. I know I’m in a materialistic industry (advertising and sales are part of it) but I also know that my account makes moms feel less alone, helps save them time, and provides some comic relief in this wild world.

When I share a product or service, I’m very careful to never say you ‘need’ something because that’s simply untrue. I do love sharing products that I use and love and think many of you will, too.

The best part of the Internet is that you’re able to create a space that feels good for YOU by following people who you trust, who inspire and entertain you. If you’re following someone who doesn’t do at least one of those things, unfollow them.